The Junk Mail of the Mind

If we see that the mailbox is stuffed, we know that there is some sorting to be done. So we stand by the recycling bin and flip through the mail. At least half of it is junk so it goes into the bin. This is a very quick process usually – we barely need to glance at the envelope – but it is also essential. If we don’t sort the mail, we will be spending a lot of time reading about timeshare offers, discounted pizzas and luxury real estate. Now over time we may become very good at doing this so we can get through it with minimal effort, and also some of the flyers may stop coming, or we might get taken off a mailing list. But do we really think the day will come when there is no more junk mail?

It’s the same with your mind: Essentially, thoughts and feelings needs to be sorted into two piles: “Useful” and “Not useful”. This can seem like a lot of work, especially if you have never done it before. However, it does get easier with practice. It’s boring sometimes – but consider the alternative. If you don’t sort, you will spend most of your time dealing with all kinds of random thoughts, feelings, stories and memories that have put you on their mailing list over the years.

Frequently Asked Questions

One frequently asked question on this topic is: “When can I stop paying attention to my thoughts and feelings in this way?” Another one is: “Is this normal? Does everybody have to do this?” Another one is: “How do I just get this stuff to stop?” The short answer is that it will probably be necessary for quite a while to do this sorting. No, you don’t have to sort every single thought and feeling but you probably will want to check them on a daily basis – or whenever you notice that the mailbox is looking a bit stuffed. And yes, this is a pretty normal thing for humans with minds. Some of us have particularly busy minds that generate a lot of junk and will need more sorting. Unfortunately, thought patterns that have been around for decades don’t usually stop overnight (though sometimes we do get lucky). Note that sorting doesn’t really stop thoughts or feelings – it just reorganizes them so we can move forward with the most important stuff. The good news is that in most cases sorting is really all you will ever need to do.