April 2020 Update
Dear Clients,
I wanted to write a few words of support during this difficult time. Although it’s difficult to give one-size-fits-all advice, I’ll do my best.
By the way, my family and I are currently well, as I hope you are.
How do we maintain good emotional well-being with all of these new stressors? My basic idea is that it is like riding a bike with gears: We have to start off in first gear, then get some speed up before moving to the next gear. For most of us then, this is the best approach.
But first, If you are experiencing panic or escalated anxiety (above say 7/10), don’t even get on the bike just yet! I would first try the Dropping Anchor exercises on my website: https://victoriatherapist.com/client-resources/ The idea here is to notice that *most* of our experience (including the five senses and most body functions) are *not* incapacitated by anxiety right now. So let’s drop an anchor in the most stable part of our experience and wait for the anxiety storm to die down. No rush, it may take a while – even an hour. If this goes okay, proceed to First Gear:
First Gear
– Get grounded in the physical body and the breath. See if you can settle into your breath for three minutes. Exercise, sleep, yoga, etc. can help here.
– If that goes okay, try asking yourself what and who are important right now, and gently notice if you can get moving in that direction.
– If you find yourself moving in “away” direction, gently ask yourself what it is that you are trying to get away from?
Second Gear
– Once we are moving along in first gear, hopefully for a few days, you can try second gear.
– Notice THOUGHTS and get a nice flexible distance on them. Write them down, try Leaves On A Stream, “I’m having the thought that… ” try basically any of our unhooking or cognitive techniques….
– Notice FEELINGS as energy in the body. Get curious about it – what does it really feel like, look like? Put it on the coffee table and look at it for a while. Can we allow it to be there for a time?
– Notice that our intention here is not to get rid of stuff – it’s more about getting some perspective on it.
Third Gear
– At this point, if all is going well, you can start noticing your AWARENESS and connecting with the natural stability and openness that is always there.
– Can you notice the objects in front of you? Can you notice yourself noticing? That is your awareness. The same applies to internal objects.
– Is there some part of your awareness that is already open and accepting – kind of like how the sea accepts the fish? If so, hang out in that space for a while.
Whatever gear you find yourself in, the most useful practices are probably compassion to self and others and loving kindness to the self and others.
If you get stuck, here are some options:
– Assuming that you are in BC, the best option is to set up an online session with me (or somebody else who is well-qualified) so we can work this through properly.
– You can also just drop me an email explaining where you are stuck and I’ll try to give you straight-up suggestions. This is not therapy of course, but it can help.
– Try the Unwinding Anxiety app – again it’s not therapy but it’s pretty good.
– As always, consider calling the BC distress line at 1-888-494-3888 if you are suicidal or in urgent distress, or just need someone to talk to right now.
May you and your loved ones have good health,
Paul