The Unwanted Guest

An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Metaphor

Imagine that you got a new house and you invited all the friends over to a

housewarming party.  Everyone is invited, except for one guy who  you don’t invite because

he’s trouble.

So all the neighbors show up, the partyʼs going great, and

here comes guess-who.

You have a choice – you can try to argue with him and keep him out, but since he likes a good

fight, that will probably take a while.  And as soon as you do that, the party changes. Now you

have to be at the front of the house, guarding the door so he canʼt come back in.

Meanwhile, lifeʼs going on, the partyʼs going on, and youʼre off guarding

the door. Itʼs just not life enhancing. Itʼs not much like a party. Itʼs a lot of work.

Itʼs also possible for you to welcome him, and really, fully, do that without liking that heʼs here.

You can welcome him even though you

donʼt think well of him. You donʼt have to like him.  You may be embarrassed about the way he

is dipping into the punch or the finger sandwiches. Your opinion of him, your evaluation of

him, is absolutely distinct from your willingness to have him as a guest in your home.