Looking for Keys

An Acceptance and Commitment metaphor

Letʼs say itʼs the end of my day and Iʼm ready to lock

up my files and leave the office. I quickly notice that I donʼt have my keys — so what do I

do? I begin to look for them.   So I check the obvious places, but no

keys. I may even feel a little bit frustrated. So what do I do? I look again – I look in some

new places and recheck some of the places Iʼve already searched.

Hmm, no keys. My stress might be building a bit at this point. What do I do? Perhaps

start thinking about what I was doing, mentally retracing my steps. Then I continue to

 

search.  And then I find them! Great, I’ve got the keys – The problem is solved

and my frustration vanishes.

 

I had a problem and used a problem solving strategy to deal

with it – the kind of thing we do every day with great success. It turns out that people

also tend to use problem solving approaches like this when they feel emotion pain.

Perhaps you’re in bed, but unable to sleep. In your mind you might start to look through

the various nooks and crannies of your past, thinking about different events and

situations that you’ve experienced. You look for information — for answers – in ways that

are similar to the way I looked for the keys. And after looking in a dozen places, do you

find the answer youʼre looking for?  No, so what do you do? You look again, you keep

searching. Perhaps you find yourself

looking at many the same memories, over and over, as you also add new ones. But thereʼs a

fundamental problem – there arenʼt any keys –

thereʼs no solution – no key piece of information that will solve your problem and make

you feel better.