High School Sweetheart

Recall a time when you were in high school and were in love with someone who

rejected you. Can you remember how terrible the pain seemed to be at the time? For

some people, this pain leads to lifelong scars, to a pattern of not trusting other people

and avoiding opportunities for real intimacy. Look at the pain from your first rejection

and ask yourself: How would it have worked if it really was OK just to hurt when you

lose something? You have little control over the pain in your life — people will reject you,

people with die, bad things will happen. Pain is a part of living none of us can avoid. But

what you do have control over is whether the pain turns into trauma. If you are unwilling

to hurt, you have to avoid pain.