Life’s a beach – struggling in the rip

The Riptide

Based on a metaphor submitted to ACBS by kcd1961

Sometimes life is like swimming at the beach. We launch headlong into life expecting to have a fun, relaxing and refreshing time. People ply us with good advice: “Don’t forget the sunscreen”. “Swim between the flags”. “Stay out of the water for 30 minutes after eating”. “Watch out for sharks”.

So you jump in, splash around and have a good time. Depending on your personality and experience you may be carefree, or you might be anxiously watching for sharks, or continually monitoring the flags to make sure we’re in the right place. Or maybe you are the sort of person who loves to flout the rules and swims anywhere.

Suddenly our pleasure is interrupted by an unpleasant sensation. We are knocked off our feet, we can no longer touch the sandy bottom and we notice we are headed out to sea. We panic and immediately set the goal, “I must get back to shore” so we take action to achieve that goal. We do it without thinking. It’s instinctive. We start paddling furiously against the rip. Sometimes we seem to be making a little progress, but we start to tire and notice we are losing the battle. We swim harder, we roll over on our back and kick with our legs, but we are getting nowhere and getting exhausted. We forget why we came to the beach in the first place. We begin to tell ourselves, “If only we had stayed between the flags” or “I wish I’d done some more swimming training before I risked it all by coming to the beach”, but none of this wondering how you got here is any help. You are still paddling furiously and getting nowhere. Maybe you call for help, and here I am – a lifesaver come to the rescue. So notice – here I am with a board to rescue you, and I suggest you grab hold of the board. Before you can grab hold of the board you need to stop paddling furiously. Even though every fibre in your body screams in protest, you must stop paddling and try something different – grab the board.

Now I am a very contrary lifesaver, for my job is not to rescue you, but to teach you to rescue yourself. For the thing about life is you can get sucked into a rip at any time. That rip may be depression, or grief, or anxiety or urges to eat, gamble, spend or use drugs.

So I want you to learn how to get out of trouble when you get stuck in a rip. So I invite you to swim slowly across the rip. I’ll even swim alongside you. As you do this you will feel the tug of the rip. You will get carried out to sea further than you’d like to be and your mind will flash all sorts of scary scenarios before your eyes. That is what minds do. Mine does it too. I’m not asking you not to be scared, or anxious, or depressed. I’m asking you to swim across the rip while experiencing those thoughts and sensations and eventually you will come to calm water and be able to get on with enjoying your day at the beach. So what I’m inviting you to do is to give up paddling furiously and accept the uncomfortable sensations and scary thoughts of being carried out to sea. I’m inviting you to reconnect with what really matters – having fun at the beach for whatever reasons that is enjoyable for you. I’m inviting you to take effective action and what that is depends on the situation. If you’re safe it means enjoying the sun and the surf for your own reasons. If you’re stuck in a rip of (insert presenting problem) it means stopping the struggle and taking small strokes in the direction of where you want to be, whatever experiences come up.