Looking “at” your thoughts not “from” your thoughts

 

Many of us struggle with thoughts that are difficult, painful, unhelpful or just annoying. Part of the problem is that these thoughts tend to follow us around: Even if we go to Mexico, our painful thoughts will probably come along for the ride.

Of course there are many distractions that we can use to get rid of painful thoughts, but they tend to work only in the short term and have various costs and side-effects.

One time-honoured method for coping with painful thoughts is to challenge them directly. If we can prove to ourselves that these thoughts are not true, useful or necessary, maybe they’ll go away. This approach is the basis of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and in many cases it will work very well to diminish the power of painful thoughts.

However, some people find that they are still bothered by painful thoughts even when they know rationally that they are not realistic. In that case, I would not recommend continuing to struggle. Better to look at the thought in question from a different, more detached perspective: To look “at” the thought rather than “through” the thought. This process is called cognitive defusion and it’s a big part of my work with depression and anxiety. The following video gives a quick overview of cognitive defusion. If you’d like to know more, contact me for a free consultation.